Jacob Stansfield

And please, remember me at Halloween,
Making fools of all the neighbors,
Our faces painted white.
By midnight, we'd forgotten one another,
And when the morning came, I was ashamed.
Only now it seems so silly.
That season left the world and then returned,
But now you're lit up by the city.

-"The Trapeze Swinger" - Iron & Wine

Jacob "Jake" Stansfield, age 35, of Sylvania, sadly passed away on Wednesday, August 23, 2023, leaving behind the biggest heart, the brightest smile, and a laugh so memorable that the world, undone and missing him immensely, will echo with it forever.

Jake was born on September 12, 1987 to Richard and Debra (Fahrer) Stansfield in Sylvania. He came into this world handsome, tanned, and dimpled enough to make his three older siblings jealous (he was, after all, the best looking baby of the bunch, taking after his mom) and grew
perfectly into his role as the fun and goofy youngest child -with a style all his own.

Playful and athletic from the beginning, Jake's first attempt at making this world a happier place for everyone happened around the neighborhood. Whether in the backyard at his house on Diana Drive (making mud pits in the sandbox with his toys, kicking the soccer ball around as Lucy sniffed along the woodpile, or swimming with his family and arguing whose turn it was to use the inner tubes) or riding bikes around the block with a crew of friends who adored and looked up to him like a brother of their own—whatever young Jacoby was doing, he was definitely shirtless (just like his dad) and always laughing.

Soccer was his sport of choice, ultimately, and holy right foot: while a growth spurt fashioned him into an absolute grizzly on the field (players and parents alike feared the reputation of his dangerous boot), he played with an ease and gentleness that made coaches proud and the game an absolute blast for everyone. After soccer came skateboarding and golf, the latter a more casual hobby that he carried on for the rest of his life (we can all see him chipping alone or with friends somewhere, laughing and striking silly poses with those fully tattooed arms), the former a straight-up obsession that burned throughout his high school days and even after he graduated, from Springfield High School in 2006, introducing him to whole new crew of goofballs who, as always, adored and looked up to him.
But alas: adulthood came too fast.

Following the Stansfield tradition, Jake got a job at Heartland Healthcare Services and worked alongside what seemed like a few hundred family members for 13 years. He peppered in college courses here and there, but, if you knew Jake, you also know how much he loved the posh bougie life that comes with making money as an energetic young stud.

And can we really blame him?

Jake never finished college, but can we blame him for that stylish, debonair wardrobe of his, those sport jackets and icy watches, those elusive craft beers and top-shelf liquors he came to collect? Can we blame him for his vinyl collection? The LPs of Modest Mouse, cKy, The Mars Volta, Minus the Bear, Bon Iver, Iron & Wine, Alt-J music that he worshiped and luxuriated in for years and years, fully aware of how important it is to cultivate a personal life soundtrack?

It's no wonder Jake took his skills and dedication as a pharmacy tech to St. Vincent Medical Center, "to get those crispy hundos," and then finally to a job at Jeep, where he worked alongside his union brothers and sisters. He needed to fund a life of passion, art, quality food and drink, travel, friendship, and family.

Honestly, can any of us blame anyone, working as hard as Jake did, for savoring life with those they love?

Speaking of love, it's time to talk about Jessica: the woman Jacob proposed to and planned to celebrate and share the rest of his life with, whose daughter, Kenley, he formed such a fast and powerful bond with, ready to be a stepdad, loving protector, and steadfast pillar of their beautiful little family.

Jacob and Jessica first met while working at St. V's, and, as so many soulmates do, they became friends first, kindling each other's laughter, honesty, and wonderful "weirdness" for a future in the making—a future that could not wait.

Here were two people undeniably in love with each other. Here was Jacob, a spirited hunk as charismatic as they come, yearning for some fateful force to nudge him into becoming the man he always wanted to be. And here was Jessica—kind, thoughtful, deeply in love with everything Jacob was and everything he wasn't—ready to give him that nudge, to be his person, to start their lifelong adventure together, side by side.

And Jacob took to his person, his Jessica, with a passion and trust and joy that truly defines what it means to be a good man and partner.

They walked together, rode bikes together; they kayaked and loved nature together; they spent date nights on the town, looking gorgeous and overjoyed; then they played rummy and board games in their PJs back at home (games that Jacob swore he didn't know but clearly did), forever having fun with each other, making plans with each other, and talking about the things they hoped to add to their lives one day.

It needs to be said: Jacob embraced being a man with Jessica more than he ever did with anybody. He embodied responsibility more than he ever had before. And he bonded with Jessica's daughter, Kenley, over a shared love of Deftones (because, let's be real, how cool would it be to have a stepdad who digs White Pony), just as he bonded with her sweet and precious pitty, Arrow, over a common love of cuddles in their comfy recliner.

Here were Jacob, Jessica, Kenley, and Arrow: a family who made it to that treasured spot in life, ready to grow up together, grow old together, and laugh together always.

Now it's time to talk about that, specifically: Jake's laughter.

All of us can hear it right now, can't we? That boundless, uninhibited guffaw, sounding up from some beautifully wondrous place where everyone bowls 300s, drinks juicy IPAs, and dances like buffoons while episodes of Seinfeld and It's Always Sunny stream on forever in the background?

Can all of us hear his laugh through the stories he would tell? Through the endless amount of quirky snapchats he'd send, sipping his beloved coffee, the faint accompaniment of funky jazz playing from somewhere just to make us laugh in turn or, honestly, to feel seen—truly seen-conveying an entire friendship in a single look or silly turn
of phrase?

Can we hear it in his text threads? The ones he'd fill with gifs, memes, and inside-joke references to Star Wars, Tombstone, and Groundhog Day? With pics of his winter beard, seemingly grown overnight, or of pumpkin beers and caramel apple suckers to remind us which favorite holiday was just around the corner?

Of course we can all hear it. We'll hear it for the rest of our lives.

We can hear you, Jacob, whether as a chubby little boy running around and falling, just to get a smile out of those you cared about … whether as the favorite uncle (Uncle Jakey), your odd gifts at Christmastime as wacky as they were perfect and everlasting … whether as the muscled specimen of man (a phrase you would've loved) that you became in the prime of your adult life, powerlifting in the middle of the night at a gym somewhere, communing with your music, your strength, your passion, your thoughts of loved ones near and far and gone too soon like you are now…

Whether as the fiancé of Jessica (your forever person) and the soon-to-be stepdad of Kenley and Arrow…

Your laugh, Jacob Alan Stansfield, echoing for and within all of us … forever.

We will miss you, Jake.

Make the ones we've lost before you—Dad, Steve, Grandpa and Grandma Stansfield, Grandpa and Grandma Fahrer, Aunt Linda, and Jason—laugh as only you can.

And remember.

This isn't an obituary. This isn't just a painful but necessary summation of your rich and happy life. It's a best man's speech. It's wedding vows. It's the simple conversation we'll have with you every day, from now on, just to celebrate the boy you were, the man you became, and the incomparable person you still are.

Until we meet again, bub.

Left to cherish Jacob's memory are his loving fiancé, Jessica Rygalski; her daughter, Kenley; mama, Debra Johnson; siblings, Christina (Robert) Stansfield-Harris, Jamie (Michael) Klear, and Benjamin (Erin) Stansfield; nieces and nephews, Kennedy, Robert III, Bailey, Rylon, Lylah, Tate, Maggie, and Phoebe; canine companion, Arrow; many aunts, uncles, cousins, and dear friends.

The family will receive guests on Saturday, September 2, 2023 from 12–8:00 PM at Newcomer Funeral Home - Southwest Chapel, 4752 Heatherdowns Blvd., Toledo, OH (419-381-1900).

If you'd like to send a donation in Jake's honor, please visit his family's GoFundMe entitled, "In Loving Memory: Honoring Jake Stansfield."


To share a memory of Jacob or to leave a special message for his family, please visit the guestbook below.